The Official Quote List


And yes, these have all been spoken - in a reasonable facsimile of normal conversation, no less.

  1. "But perhaps the lemur contingent can yet save me from complete rue." - Me
  2. "I'll slash about, this way and that, snickerty snap, a wooden bat makes their heads go crack!" - Joseph
  3. "I'm a perfectly innocent kerplumpferty snazzlegrimp" - Joseph
  4. "Then you get your night deadness, and I don't feel bad leaving fuzzies till Sunday." - Me
  5. "I think there's a huge market for garlic baboon cheek pounches." - Joseph
  6. "We like things that begin with 'pl'." - Me
  7. "Naaaah - fartin' garlic schmutz." - Joseph
  8. "I shan't shirk such a succulent situation, surely!" - Joseph
  9. "soul sucking sofa sprawling super spree" - Joseph
  10. "Aaaaagh - it's my Achilles belly button!" - me
  11. "I will make it my bitch. No one else will understand it. But it will be my bitch." - Joseph, on programming practices
  12. "That's your happy I've-just-molested-a-penguin dance, isn't it?" - Me
  13. "Unlucky in cards, lucky in love - so have hope, darling. Now, stop molesting the refrigerator." - Me
  14. "That was molestolicious!" - Joseph
  15. "If you're going to go metamorphosize into a boob, you can do it in there." - Joseph
  16. "Don't stick the penguin in me. No more of that. " - Me
  17. "I'm full of humpy-bumpy mischief. You're full of tighty-bitey vengeance." - Joseph
  18. "Baby, don't poke me in the third eye!" - Joseph
  19. "Babydoll got hair like Fremen still suit. Just put a curl in the end of your mouth and suck on it." - Joseph
  20. "It's a cold, evil world out there. So I put on a sock." - Joseph
  21. "I am mighty! I have more cells!" - Me
  22. "'Cause you're a monkey-butt!" - Me "That's right." - Joseph
  23. "If Babydoll don't think she's small, I can always squish and make small." - Joseph
  24. "It's my super kung fu chi poop!" - Joseph
  25. "A p00t on both your houses!" - Joseph
  26. (post Chronicles of Riddick) "The Necrop00ters!" - Me, "He is the holy half-p00t who has seen the P00tiverse." - Joseph, "Join now or be flushed forever!" - Me, "You keep what you p00t..." - Me, "...it is the Necrop00ter way." - Joseph
  27. "Half the muffin....you want all the kings and half the muffin....meeeeh." - Joseph
  28. "I can't really talk right now. I'm breathing through the penguin." - Joseph
  29. "He's like a piece of fluff undergoing Brownian motion. Except Brownian motion usually only applies to really tiny particles." - Liz-kitty
  30. "Say yes to poop, but no to being pooped on." - Me
  31. "My love is a function." - Joshua-monkey
  32. "Social security owl!" - Joshua-monkey "Shut up!" - Me
  33. "But, theoretically, yes I'm an equal monkey-head to you." - Joshua-monkey
  34. "Cuz C stands for ctupid." - Joshua-monkey
  35. "Want to be in a coma. Would make me happy." - Joshua-monkey
  36. "Mmm...zombie panda nose rubbings." - Me
  37. "Arrrgh!  Ye dare to invade purveyors of piping, prepared pirate provisions -- perhaps prettily presented -- perceivin' it perfectly plinky to go without me?  The plank with ye -- the *PLANK*" - Leeezard
  38. "Idiothetic information....well, thetic is obviously from theta, so it's oval information with a bar across it." - Julian
  39. "You do that. You ride a matrix of kittens and I'll drive my truck." - Joshua-monkey
  40. "I like learning new words, especially when they don't end in 'virus'." Joshua-monkey
  41. "Even if relatively nice, take care of yourself in the post-poop time." - stillvisions
  42. "Aaaaaaaaugh! I'm a sub-monkey!" - Raven
  43. "There so many directions I could take reverse-metamorphosing into bunnies." - Alex
  44. "You're making out with my scarf muppet?" - Me
  45. "You've got a big, shiny brain and it is wired up to an awesome talky mouth." - Russell
  46. "So I think we've established that I'm wearing only pajama bottoms and a pile of adjectives." - Russell
  47. "Pusillanimous punks." - Andrew
  48. "Keep at least 5 feet away - your aura is making me sick." - Liz kitty
  49. "Food is not only mighty, but cunning. It hides in the swamp, wearing a hat shaped like a baby bird." - Russell
  50. "But the bit that reminded me of $person was the from-my-perspective-super-spark and from-his-perspective-no-wait-aaaaah-run-away." - Me
  51. "Tea? No. Chai? Yes. If at first you don't suck tea, chai chai again." - Foxe
  52. "meh, if he doesn't he has the honor of a rat" - Liz-kitty
  53. "My missing of you ached like the slow-leaking blood of a severed appendage." - Paris
  54. "Muahahahaha... Capitalist Ninja." - Paris
  55. "Purveying putrescent puns plays perfectly upon pliant professors, ms. pearl." - Leezard
  56. "i wish you the best of luck in being a happy monkey" - Mark
  57. "Just think pufferfish, bubbles, and bucket." - Liz-kitty
  58. "I've just been owned by psychedelic bees." - Max
  59. "But I owed him money, and had to take my hands off the keyboard of unquenchable love in order to go upstairs and write a check"- Benjamin
  60. "Well, lady or not, fuck fuck fuck goddamn incompetent shit-for-brain fuckmonkeys! I am displeased. And disoriented. Also discharging disgusting goo." - Reene
  61. "Coping by groping seems a reasonable strategy for you, then." - Me
  62. "Surely the judge would understand about the aesthetic vowels in coping by groping as a method." - Me
  63. "I'm sorry, I don't remember the last time the hideous pain needle entered my ass." - Max
  64. "You are a delight to all senses, especially to the equally arrogant." - Paris
  65. "Them what dares to issue the diminuitive gets eaten by tigers." - Raven
  66. "We are delicious! Grant us your blessings, O ye travel gods!" - Me
  67. "Until the perfect image of your undying beauty is captured.  Whereupon I'll sequester it away in my forbidden tower, Muhahahaha!" - Joseph
  68. "Are you dyin-oh wait, it's just the sponge." - Liz-kitty
  69. "Agony shma-gagony." - Florian
  70. "We're Kissy McSlime of the clan McSlime." - Me
  71. "damn travelling nomad gypsy razor-blade wielding midgets" - Scott
  72. "May your razorblade-wielding midgets cease their malevolent ministrations soon" - Me
  73. "I love you with slime!" - Me & Joshua-Monkey
  74. "I damaged you." - Me. "You did - it's great!" - Joshua-monkey
  75. "Poop....poop...no poop...poop..." - Joshua-monkey, percussing my viscera
  76. "This is your colon. It's full of poop." - Joshua-monkey
  77. "That was the most painful hickey ever. I love you. " - Joshua-monkey
  78. "Blue's Clues can grab my snoobs." - Joshua-monkey
  79. "Avascular necrosis of the diamond!" - Benjamin
  80. "And the discoursing on the subtle flavor of baby demon with another friend.  And between the two, it was just too surreal to leave." - Me
  81. "It occurs to me if we ever worked together on something with such zeal it might rupture the fabric of reality with its excessive ass-kickery." - Paris
  82. "Yeah, if I said 'let's haul', there'd be a silent 'ass' tacked on in my mind" - Me
  83. "Well, who wouldn't, with the stories and the arm-ripperiness?" - regyt
  84. "You have a pretentious palate of purple particularites." - hlessirah
  85. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph it's time for a fucking break. (Sorry, talking to an Irish friend earlier.) Cursed mirror neurons." - Paris
  86. "He has cockles in his heart, and they are warmed." - Kate
  87. "Sigh...well, typos are evil bunnies." - Me
  88. "You made a needless turtle." - Ransom, on turns and circles in parking lots
  89. "I grant you Shroedinger's hope." - Maureen, on my bridge optimism. "Meow!" - Benjamin, in reply.
  90. "After the rain, little tennis shrooms sprout." - Kate
  91. "Normal viennesing is bad enough; cranky viennesing just automatically equals doom." - Me, on ballroom peril
  92. "Yay! I have an ornery-budddy!" - halophoenix
  93. "Remember - a Jewish '10' is a '3' with $7 million!" - my Uncle Scott
  94. "It's much easier if the trash takes itself out." - Liz, on breaking up
  95. "Off a-hunting caffeine and then scribbling mad little mathematics equations on napkins. Praise thee, local Starbucks, home of caffeinated inspiration." - Me
  96. "Breakfast is a perfectly sensible thing to have for breakfast." - Me
  97. "A cat must always bring with him a fuzzy attitude about everything in the panda's reach." - Ransom & I, instant aphorisms
  98. "I think I will now giggle over the idea of word play kung fu fly wires." - Me
  99. "I would say that an appropriate description for the target of unrequited affection is:  THWARTIFUL" - demongreen/theflipmedley
  100. "ARGH!  And this is a full sized keyboard!  I die horribly!" - demongreen/theflipmedley
  101. "And then when you applied it, it would be guilt...gas?" - Max
  102. "Guess who's getting spanked!" - Deborah "Here - have my sheep." - Me
  103. "I love you with mints!" - Raven
  104. "A place in space would be a waster as a thingy." - demongreen/theflipmedley
  105. "Yes, shedding those vulnerability veils can be touchy." - Travis
  106. "No grump! Love, happiness, and Lemurs. so mote it be." - Benjamin
  107. "You got seriously wicked eyes. Like ocular laser beams. I love it. " - NeoCon
  108. "Soon, my scaled scallion!" - determinedchaos
  109. "I'm still giggling over Slutty McTemptress. I love us so much." - Me
  110. "Dude, you're old enough to be my dad and dumb enough to be my bunny slippers. Not a promising combination." - Lise
  111. "And remember, anytime you feel down...and need cheering up...I am here. And always willing to chat...because that is a good excuse to be not working." - Commander Shreyas
  112. "i learn something new every time you open your mouth, or put hands to keyboard. okay, not every time. and oftentimes i learn nothing at all but end up laughing a lot." - Kate
  113. "Your keen fashion sense, yes! How else to spot the cookie monster dreads?" - Me
  114. "I'm hungry enough to eat the butt out' a cat." - Mr. Don, on states of desperation
  115. "on the other paw, I won't shed tears if you don't feel like it" - Joe
  116. "Great things happen when we get together!" - Kate "Yes, like bitchy smoothcakes!" - Me
  117. "Is that smooth with 'oo' or 'u'?"- Kate "Double-o. Like 'toothpick.' The derivation of toothpick to bitchy smoothcake is quite obvious, of course." - Me
  118. "We danced exactly the way you don't dance when you have a bear in your pants." - Foxe
  119. " Everybody whose first thought upon reading "linguistic modeling" was of jalenstrix stalking sexily down a catwalk, wearing a very skimpy and improper noun, raise your hand..." - Lise
  120. "I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you darned brainmeats and your stupid emotions!" - RavenBlack
  121. "My eyes have been raped by semicolons!" - aliasheist
  122. "Dante got it wrong; I now have proof that there is a deeper hell than Cocytus. It is Writer Hell, Fanfic Hell, and Grammarian Hell all in one. I call it The Orion Saga, Part One: Voices of the Past." - aliasheist
  123. "No use beating around the bush" - Kate, on crotch-scratching in public
  124. "The penalty for poking me is disruption of the orderly Forest of Death." - Max
  125. "Your away messages are a never-ending glory-run of hilarity." - Garreth
  126. "Word can't get out that Evil enjoys birdsong." - Me, to Paris
  127. "It was simply deliff!" - Me, attempting to express how "delightful" and "delicious" the taro bun was
  128. "You want to see if your min is minning over your lem." - Me, on trying to solve Kate's evil code problem
  129. "You can see my ecstatic snot!" - Me
  130. "People I respect - ack! Stop hugging me." - Raven
  131. "It's all because of my endothermic hiney." - Foxe, in reply to me whining about being cold
  132. "It's because we poop on the rest of the world." - Kate
  133. "Yay - death-free protein!" - Kate
  134. "Yay - protein-free death!" - Me
  135. "Tea, tea, leaves from a tree - the more you drink, the more you pee." - Kate and me, in a fit of whimsy
  136. "You and your sambagasm." - Kate, to me.
  137. "B00tgasm!" - Me
  138. "Once in a while, among all the coughing, I produce a tiny amount of phlegm. This is very exciting! Every time this happens I think, "This may be the phlegm we've been waiting for. The phlegm to end all phlegm. The phlegm that breaks the cough's back. The entire purpose of all this misery has been to uproot this particular drop of phlegm, and now that that goal has been achieved, life may go on as usual." - Danielle, on her plaaaaaague
  139. "You're Chesty McBoob of the Clan McBoob." Foxe, to me
  140. "Actually, you're more like Leggy McBoob." - Foxe, continuing
  141. "But not you - you're not a one eyed, one boobed ogre." - Kate, to me
  142. "It's true - I'm Slutty McPoppins!" - Kate
  143. "Chesty McBoob and Slutty McPoppins do Chinatown." - Me, describing the day
  144. " 'Fuck you very much' is an acceptable response" - Chesty McBoob and Slutty McPoppins on etiquette.
  145. "You're the craisin disposal girl." - Kate
  146. "It's emergent hair clip behavior!" - Slutty McPoppins on hair clips
  147. "We thank you, Godiva, for your blessings this day." - Chesty McBoob and Slutty McPoppins on the palate
  148. "I'd do him in a NY minute." - Slutty McPoppins on the interpretation of the minute
  149. "Poo inspector....that's a really shitty job." - Me "[groan]" - Kate "Yeah, I guess you could smell that one coming a mile away." - Me
  150. "If you're not fond of fondue, it's just 'ew'/'ue' ." - My brother
  151. "You're sadly deficient in the glect department." - Me, continuing Daniel's musings on being "glected"
  152. "Why wouldn't you lie about bunnies? Their floppety ears....they inspire falsehood!" - Danielle
  153. "My books are my dragon gold." - Danielle
  154. "You have little thumb pads on your finger stalks." - Foxe
  155. "You're full of brillo pads!" - Jesse
  156. "Finally, I am a wine-dark salt lick." - Regyt
  157. ""You promised them *what*? I can't *fly*! Why did you tell them I could fly?" - Raven, on Sales & Engineering misunderstandings
  158. "I'm upset and I don't know why -
    I want to stab you in the eye.
    Oh my god - why won't you die!?"
    - Raven, summarizing angsty relationship poetry
  159. "I'm used to having my exams at butt o'clock." - Foxe.
  160. "Little cherub face!" - Me "Shut up." - Foxe
  161. "Mmm...well, I think it wise to extend your joy to fully cover all current hoy-nodes" - Me
  162. "Why are your eyeballs so wide-ball?" - Foxe
  163. "It sizzles with synaptic fun." - Paris
  164. " The semicolon cares; the semicolon bleeds!" - Danielle
  165. "I believe in the wicked chocolate crab." - Danielle
  166. "All we need is a scupful of ankle vampires." - Me
  167. "It was elegant sucking." - Danielle
  168. "You suck....but elegantly." - RavenBlack
  169. "Would the airport hub duenna approve of your spanish maiden outfit?" - Me
  170. "He's a pillow doily with attitude." - Foxe, regarding Sedavion
  171. "May winged hamsters drop flaming coconuts from great heights upon your villages." - Kate and Me, on good curses
  172. "You have to separate the facts from the reality." - Foxe.
    "Now you can go into politics." - The Rachel
  173. "Like commando style. With the pants tucked into the boots." - Kate
    "Right, so the enemy can't sneak up their pant legs." - Foxe
  174. "They're sort of little walking furry exceptions." -Me
  175. "TP for your bung-hole?" - Foxe. "That's really not the most romantic of things to say. " - Me.
  176. "You never know - it could be due to wretched cat butt." - Meesh
  177. "So yay! - not sucking. But ewww! - white penis sausage." - Raven
  178. "She goes through soul mates like skittles." - Cull
  179. "Undead mice forever!" - Foxe
  180. "My green skittle! Waaaaaaaaah!" - Foxe
  181. "You might be intrigued by the graceful jelly." - Foxe
  182. "The power of poop! The Incredible E-....no." - Me
  183. "Not everyone springs forth from the head of Zeus with tremendous poly-fu powers." - Raven
  184. "Hey, poopyhead!" - gleeful RavenBlack to Raven, "Make my coffee, bitch!" - Raven, in response
  185. "Love makes a splat sound?" - Me
  186. "I'd be dripping yellow goo." - Rogue
  187. "Sunshine Bear!" - Me, "No," decisively, "Death and Destruction Bear! Dooooooooooooom!" - Foxe
  188. "Clearly your head is on backwards and I have no head." - RavenBlack
  189. ""Insufficient goo....there is always insufficient goo..." - RavenBlack
  190. "I am the anti-elf - coo coo ca-choo." - Raven
  191. "Crunchy bacon hiney!" - Me "Now I'm the garlic toast bread hiney!" - Foxe
  192. " It's pleasing to the ego and the loins." - Regyt
  193. "Now try it my way with all the fingers." - Regyt
  194. "They are soft and squishy portents." - Regyt
  195. "Love." -Foxe "That doesn't begin with a C!" –Me "...Cuh-love." – Foxe
  196. "The angst! The tragedy! The ...dog turd. Agghhh – and it stinks, too. " – Raven
  197. "Mmm...lovely!...mmm...squishy!...yay!" – Me
  198. "I thought you were mooing! Why were you blue-ing?" – Foxe
  199. "I love you and all your donkey-pig finery." – Me
  200. "Aaaagh! My poor vulnerable nip-pleh!" – Foxe
  201. "Do you know that I just love you?" – Me "But my nip-pleh!" – Foxe
  202. "But I could just pee all day!" – Foxe
  203. "And I'm wasting time on the toilet when I could be pooping!" – Foxe
  204. "Focus on the business at butt." – Foxe
    205.
  205. "You're not givin' birth out of your ass without tearin' something. Trust me." - Foxe
  206. "I'm in deep smit." - Foxe
  207. "I'm the Alpha-Bitch." - Me
  208. "You need to be added to the things-to-do list?" - Me
    "Otherwise I won't get done!" - Foxe
  209. "Awww...Elephant Shoes!" - Me
  210. "Bunnies with testicles?" - Foxe
    211.
  211. "Excellent. May continued relations between the Nation Of Woman and the Nation Of Paris be as intimate as possible" - Paris
  212. "The intrepid Danielle entangles fire white lesbians, or monkey." - Danielle's Profundity Generator
  213. "The rapid Lisa takes pride in fire white wonders, or wonders what went wrong." - Danielle's Profundity Generator
  214. "And the V8 can just fell down my pants." - Foxe
  215. "I'm an ass pirate - eeeeeyaarrrrrrrrr!" - Foxe
    216.
  216. "Eeeyaaaaaaarrrr - maaaaarrr booooooty!" - Foxe
  217. "You are full of wuggling!" - Me
  218. "I'm a rapscallop?" - Foxe
  219. "Then I got pudding up my nose and it was time to stop." - Raven
  220. "Unrated beta feh. You are alpha bitch queen. I am alpha bitch princess. Mwa ha ha!" - Me
    "You are a .sig line." - Raven
  221. "I am the Evil Influential Bitch of Doom. Kiss my Owl, boyo." - Me
  222. "I'd rather be gang-raped by rabid chimpanzees." - Aga, on rejection-made-easy
  223. "It's a bean bag butt bear!" - Me
  224. "I'll find some less dicky dick to work for." - Ross
  225. "I smurf both ways." - Foxe
  226. "If A, then B. A...therefore cow!" - Evan, on drug logic
  227. "If A, then B. A...therefore evil cow!" - Evan, on paranoid drug logic
  228. "Don't make me come over there and give you a Lisagasm!" - Me
  229. "I must thwart their ninny-gasms, yo!" - Danielle
  230. ::laugh:: You're this vibrating colorful kitten thing and it's wonderful - Danielle
  231. "You commendable hunk of man-geek, you!" - Danielle
  232. "The magic godhead scratched you." - Jordan
  233. "I'm gonna kick yo' ass from here to Descartes!" - Danielle
    "But there are no Jews there!" - Danielle's Mom
  234. "There is an invisible line from the desk to the spine that you cannot cross!" - Josh
  235. "I agree with the cookie. The cookie is wise." - Danielle
  236. "I didn't trade her in. I just blind carbon-copied her." - Meesh
  237. "Chomp" "ow!" "aw - sorry. i was going for the elf and i missed" - Jesse
  238. "Razzafrazzafuckingfaelover!" - Me
  239. "Well, your secret note card thingy is: You Suck!" - Danielle
  240. "You can be fehful!" - Danielle
  241. "If I can't have kiwi sex, I can have leetle sodomizing tigers." - Danielle
    242.
  242. I'm surrounded by people with vibrating penguins! - Danielle
    243.
  243. You will burn, you will smoke, you will make this place smell good or I will kill you. - Paris
  244. I dub thee Herb - come be in a sachet. - Me
  245. I don't know what orifice he's speaking out of. - Max
  246. Your fly Kung Fu is weak! - Max
  247. Mornings would suck - especially when you wake up encased in 3 tons of solid rock. - Aaron
    But you could swim out! - Max.
  248. There's only so much you can Don your Juans before they go Don-Juandering off. - Raven
  249. Hee hee hee...hugs OF DOOOM! - Me
  250. He has a recursive rod stuck up his ass. - Rafi
  251. I'm a cashew in pecan's clothing! - Me
  252. I'm the furball surprise! - Danielle
  253. I think I'm going to start saying McFuck a lot. - Dave
  254. We are the spider pope collective: premarital sex is best. - RavenBlack
  255. How suave, Dr. Bill. - Me
  256. I am the anti-attitude muse. Grar. - Me
  257. Green Tauruseses look like squashed green toads. - Ross
  258. We are giant cans of Raid! - Ross
  259. I'll be there as soon as Rossly possible. - Ross
  260. She said it was my teenage rebellion and maybe I'm just not far enough removed to see it...but she could have just been a psycho-twinkie. - Raven
  261. Oh no, I have plenty of sandwich - have some more eyeballs. - Raven
  262. And we would so fall on our asses and look like dumbass swooping birds of prey. - Ross
  263. And once again my butt has stored information successfully....and I will never ever say that again. - Ross
  264. Snoogeldy Farbar! - RavenBlack
  265. "I'm very, very thirsty." - Me "Well, you could always suck on my leg." - RavenBlack
  266. Okay, I claim everything - can I have your soul now? - Me
  267. And for that the cow will poo on you. - Me
  268. Shut up, brain. Pretend you're a horse. - Me
  269. Oh I do love thee, you putrid pun-maker of underworld type allusions. - Ross
  270. Elves....gorgeous, beautiful, skinny, snappable elves... - Ross
  271. Nips are egggg-salad. - Me
  272. I *am* a big, purple grape. - Jana
  273. Can't let clowns sleep with me, fishies will get jealous. - Me
  274. Disorganized schizophrenia is so much fun. - Me
  275. I'm dead- stick a bullet in me. - Julia
  276. Phone ringing; must cause pain. - Julia
  277. And they shall enjoy being done by us. Forever and ever. Amen. - Danny
  278. I'm not a wicked fairy - I'm just wicked. - Me
  279. It's hard to dance with a bear in your pants. - The Rachel
  280. Issues are like being on crack - only tangier. - Danny
  281. Most of the time, it sucks to be Alfred. - Me
  282. Happy Birthday, AT&T. - The Rachel
  283. Get wet soon. - The Rachel
  284. I want more blood! More Violence! VEINS BETWEEN YOUR TEETH! - Cait called Leila
  285. That sounds like a heroin-junkie's wet dream. - Danny Prevo
  286. Jesus, everything's a brothel. - Me
  287. Come here - this is the house of conceptual blobs. - Me
  288. Crunchy peanutbutter is life. - Me
  289. Bloody is better. - Me
  290. ::sarcasm:: And, yes, I am a little black rain cloud today. Oh, alas.::sarcasm:: - Me
  291. It's just a fuck day. - Julia
  292. Damn him, stupid bird boy. - Me
  293. "A friend is someone who'll help you move house,
    A true friend will help you move a body,
    and a corvid friend will help you eat that body to
    destroy the evidence."
    -- Azrael Raven, on corvids
  294. You're nice to someone once and they never forgive you. - Julia
  295. By the left frontal lobe of the Great Sky Demon! - Cait called Leila
  296. Polly want a crackwhore! - Julia
  297. I'm the scratch and sniff squeaky ass goth bitch, dammit! - Me
  298. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. - Me
  299. Lisa has a happy smell.- Julia
  300. It would have been better if it hadn't involved my sister. - Paris
  301. I am tiger; hear me caw.- RavenBlack
  302. La, la, la la la -ACK! - Me
  303. Swim, monkey, swim! - Julia
  304. Pillage first, question later. - Paris
  305. It's just like random spurtings of blah. - Me
  306. They can blow my squirrels. - Me
  307. Yeeeeaaaa! - it's like the square root of negative 1. - Me
  308. I AM the soup crack whore. - Me
  309. It's like your whole life outlook depending upon your booping. - Me
  310. Yay, subby crack! - Raven
  311. Think happy, warm, non-peeing thoughts - wait, let's get rid of the warm. - Julia
  312. I AM Winnie the Shit! - Me
  313. You're right - no, you're left! - Me
    Oh...yay? - Julia Starr
  314. Your mother wore army boots! Hey, wait...that's cool! - Me
  315. If I only had a pretzel...[waves hand menacingly] - Julia
  316. My pants are warm and toasty. - Sarah
  317. Squick you, you son of a whore. - Me
  318. You're just a fucking t-shirt! - Me
  319. Aiiieee! It moved...it shouldn't move... - Me
  320. So many pedestrians, so little time - Me
  321. You! Out of the Gene Pool! - Me
  322. I do what the Rice Krispies tell me to do - Me
  323. My mind's backed up on disk somewhere - Me
  324. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets. - Paris
  325. In the words of the schmuck - Julia
  326. Guess what I had for dinner! - Me
    Um...human flesh? - The Rachel
  327. We do not eat family members. - The Rachel
  328. It'd be fun until she decided to bite the flesh off.- The Rachel
  329. I'll just be over here in the corner sniffing my candle. - Me
  330. If you ever need any disruption in your euphoria, just call me. - Me
  331. You belong in the Black Market. - John
  332. Random acts of Botswana! - Me
  333. I don't want to wake up with celery breath. - Me
  334. We must go vasit the bithroom. - Me
  335. Mmm....ice cold jars of jelly.... - Me
  336. You're such a ladle! - Brandy
  337. Be the pumpkin! - Me
  338. Spork off! - Me
  339. I know a fork that's racking up some major bastard points. - Brandy
  340. And all of the sudden I found myself about to lick my satin thumb.- Me
  341. We shall hunt the mighty ginger with the fan that goes whap-whap! - Me
  342. Vector cheese! - John
  343. Prewriting is the literary equivalent of foreplay - it's only necessary if you're not really good. - Pretty Boy Eric
  344. A penny here, a penny there - pretty soon you'll have a nickel! - My Father
  345. I don't want to get alfalfa up my nose. - Steve
  346. We don't need no stinkin' - ooooh, bonus! - Me
  347. Won't anyone love me? - I have lettuce... - Tim's on-again-off-again girlfriend
  348. Want to sniff my teddy butt bear? - Me
  349. For her, we can do the Heimlich; for him, there is no hope. - Me
  350. They always say death is such a bad thing - but is it really? Some people just need to die. - Julia
  351. It's like one of those mornings where you ctrl-alt-delete-thunk. - Alan
  352. I summon her opinion through the magic power of spicy peanut sauce. - Me
  353. "I love..."
    "LEMONS! You were going to say you love lemons. Because you don't love me. Because... you're dumped." - RavenBlack

And so it goes.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch.